Supporting a friend who is a pregnant

Finding out that your friend is pregnant can be a shock. Your friend may be coming to you worried, scared, happy, excited or a mix of these emotions. They may have made a decision about whether to continue the pregnancy or not or may require you to play a supporting role, whether it be to help decide, find resources, accompany at a doctor’s appointment or build a support network. Acknowledge that they trust you to disclose to you of this news, so to be a supportive friend, here are some things you need to know:

Become educated

It’s okay to feel shocked and it’s okay to tell them you need some time to absorb it before you can properly discuss with them. Let them know you’re glad they told you and that whatever choice they makes you will support them. Take some time to find reliable information on their options, or talk to someone you both trust, if this is something you need to do before having a deep conversation.

Just listen

Try not to make any assumptions about what your friend and let the conversation be guided by your friend. They may be in a vulnerable state of mind, so finding ways to keep them calm would be very helpful.

Making a decision

If the pregnancy was unplanned, you can ask “Do you want my opinion on what I think makes sense for you?” to see if your friend wants your input. If they do, then frame your response in a positive perspective. They have three options: continue with pregnancy, adoption, and termination of pregnancy. Make sure they are well-informed about the options and try not to be negative in your thoughts and comments. They also doesn’t need to hear horror stories and what if situations. All options are valid and should ultimately be their choice.

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